As my kids are getting closer and closer to the "raised" stage in life, I'm looking back over the things I should have done differently...
"Do Over #1":
After finding stacks of virtually clean towels at the bottom of both girls' hampers, I once again cussed myself for not insisting on a towel limit. One Christmas, Carol even gave us all towels with our names embroidered on them. At that point, I should have insisted that people use that towel, and that towel only, for a week. But no. Instead, I raised kids who think they need a fresh towel for every shower.
Good 'ole Lauren just came into my room and read this over my shoulder. She gave me a gentle smile and said, "Don't worry Mom, you're doing fine."
Poor kid doesn't realize that as the youngest, I still have time to institute my new rules and regulations. I'm off to hide all of the towels...
Monday, February 21, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
For the Record
I just read in the news that a teacher was suspended from her job for blogging about her students. It seems that she called them "lazy whiners". Rather than delve into freedom of speech issues, I'd just like to report that for the record, all of my students are engaged, charming and motivated learners.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Count Your Many Blessings
I have a wise friend who often tells me that when a pattern emerges in our experiences, it may be a sign that we are supposed to learn a certain lesson or "truth."
If that is the case, then I'm certain I came to this earth to learn these things:
1) Patience
2) Patience
3) Patience
I'm doing all right with the "control your temper" sort of patience. My struggles come with the patience and faith required to trust in Heavenly Father's plan for me and those I love. I truly do believe that things work out for the best (whether is was my idea of "the best or not".) It's just the process of getting there that drives me crazy.
I think back to a couple of times in my life when this lesson has been at the forefront. The first was our attempts to have a baby after Syd was born. Through five years, a miscarriage, and fertility drugs, we tried to add to our family. However, it wasn't until I finally accepted the situation that I actually became pregnant with Lauren. I remember specifically repenting of my anger and learning to be grateful for the two wonderful kids that I had. (Side note: for anyone struggling with infertility, I am no way implying that acceptance results in pregnancy. It is just my own little miracle). Less dramatically, another repeat of this lesson came when we were trying to get a loan to build our house. Now, in the grand scheme of things, it isn't all that important. But it seemed like every time we got close, something in the process would break down. Again, it wasn't until I realized that where we lived didn't matter; it was that we were all together that counted, that things fell into place.
Obviously, those are two fairly grand examples. There are twice as many ones that illustrate times when I didn't "get what I wanted". Yet what I "got" was just what I "needed". I just wish I'd learn the lesson beforehand instead of in retrospect.
During fast and testimony meeting earlier this month, I was strongly reminded of my needed for faith in Heavenly Father's care. I was reminded that my perspective is limited and I can't fully grasp His design for my learning and my growth. I was reminded that Heavenly Father loves my family more perfectly than I can imagine. And each one of them has their own personally tailored lessons to experience. So while I get anxious and want to see the end result before I experience the middle, I am learning to be patient.
Hopefully I can be a fast learner! (Oops! I mean a patient student.)
If that is the case, then I'm certain I came to this earth to learn these things:
1) Patience
2) Patience
3) Patience
I'm doing all right with the "control your temper" sort of patience. My struggles come with the patience and faith required to trust in Heavenly Father's plan for me and those I love. I truly do believe that things work out for the best (whether is was my idea of "the best or not".) It's just the process of getting there that drives me crazy.
I think back to a couple of times in my life when this lesson has been at the forefront. The first was our attempts to have a baby after Syd was born. Through five years, a miscarriage, and fertility drugs, we tried to add to our family. However, it wasn't until I finally accepted the situation that I actually became pregnant with Lauren. I remember specifically repenting of my anger and learning to be grateful for the two wonderful kids that I had. (Side note: for anyone struggling with infertility, I am no way implying that acceptance results in pregnancy. It is just my own little miracle). Less dramatically, another repeat of this lesson came when we were trying to get a loan to build our house. Now, in the grand scheme of things, it isn't all that important. But it seemed like every time we got close, something in the process would break down. Again, it wasn't until I realized that where we lived didn't matter; it was that we were all together that counted, that things fell into place.
Obviously, those are two fairly grand examples. There are twice as many ones that illustrate times when I didn't "get what I wanted". Yet what I "got" was just what I "needed". I just wish I'd learn the lesson beforehand instead of in retrospect.
During fast and testimony meeting earlier this month, I was strongly reminded of my needed for faith in Heavenly Father's care. I was reminded that my perspective is limited and I can't fully grasp His design for my learning and my growth. I was reminded that Heavenly Father loves my family more perfectly than I can imagine. And each one of them has their own personally tailored lessons to experience. So while I get anxious and want to see the end result before I experience the middle, I am learning to be patient.
Hopefully I can be a fast learner! (Oops! I mean a patient student.)
Friday, February 4, 2011
So It's Not the Lottery...
You may recall my plan to fund my life goal of doing nothing. It involved winning the lottery, then spending the rest of my life reading books, spoiling grandchildren and watching "Law and Order" reruns.
Unfortunately, I think that's a long shot.
So, instead I applied for a new job. After much hemming and hawing, I turned in my application for the Special Education Director here in our school district. A few weeks later, I had an interview and was offered the job that day. Attending meeting after meeting does not really fit into my idea of "great job benefits", but a new challenge does sound appealing. (At least that's what I keep telling myself.) I have to admit, I'm just sick about leaving the day to day joys and challenges of teaching. But in the sixteen years of teaching special education, my role as a teacher has diminished. Due to inclusion (which is absolutely fantastic for the kids) I have become more of a teacher's aid than a certified teacher. I'm also heartbroken to be leaving the wonderful teachers that I work with. Often, it is their humor that keeps me sane after eight hours a day with 12-14 year olds.
On the bright side-I've told Ryan that I'm going to need a wardrobe update. I'm thinking that a pair of jeans and my NAU t-shirt doesn't count as professional attire. He's thinking that the lottery sounds better and better with each pair of shoes I buy...
Unfortunately, I think that's a long shot.
So, instead I applied for a new job. After much hemming and hawing, I turned in my application for the Special Education Director here in our school district. A few weeks later, I had an interview and was offered the job that day. Attending meeting after meeting does not really fit into my idea of "great job benefits", but a new challenge does sound appealing. (At least that's what I keep telling myself.) I have to admit, I'm just sick about leaving the day to day joys and challenges of teaching. But in the sixteen years of teaching special education, my role as a teacher has diminished. Due to inclusion (which is absolutely fantastic for the kids) I have become more of a teacher's aid than a certified teacher. I'm also heartbroken to be leaving the wonderful teachers that I work with. Often, it is their humor that keeps me sane after eight hours a day with 12-14 year olds.
On the bright side-I've told Ryan that I'm going to need a wardrobe update. I'm thinking that a pair of jeans and my NAU t-shirt doesn't count as professional attire. He's thinking that the lottery sounds better and better with each pair of shoes I buy...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Nineteen Years
Today I have been married for nineteen years.
Am I even that old? (Don't answer that.) Ryan and I got married when I was eighteen years old, so I can barely remember a time when he wasn't a part of my life. Yet, at the same time, I can't believe that nearly two decades have gone by.
All day long, I've typed, erased and typed again some sort of meager expression of my love for him. Unfortunately, the correct words escape me. All I can say, is that I'm so grateful for Heavenly Father's wisdom in creating a plan that allows for marriage and family.
It is everything to me.
Am I even that old? (Don't answer that.) Ryan and I got married when I was eighteen years old, so I can barely remember a time when he wasn't a part of my life. Yet, at the same time, I can't believe that nearly two decades have gone by.
All day long, I've typed, erased and typed again some sort of meager expression of my love for him. Unfortunately, the correct words escape me. All I can say, is that I'm so grateful for Heavenly Father's wisdom in creating a plan that allows for marriage and family.
It is everything to me.
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