Holiday Cheer

School ended and the party began...

It began with our annual Winter Solstice Celebration.  We started this tradition while my parents were in Alaska when Cade and Syd were young.  I'm not exactly sure what inspired my desire to honor this day, but we've been doing it ever since.  Winter Solstice marks the time when the nights begin to get shorter and the bright, sunny days return.  Oh yeah, that must be why I celebrate this much-waited-for day.  Initially we celebrated it in fine pagan form.  We decorated and burnt the yule log.  I made the kids wear garlands of tinsel as we danced around the fire and I recited a poem I'd written.  Thankfully(!?!?) somewhere along the line I lost my poem and the kids matured past the garland phase.  Now I make a big pot of chili and a batch of cornbread.  (I guess that replaces the poem quite nicely).

The kids still decorate the yule log.  (I think this is the best one ever.  Cade thinks his were much better as a kid).

Of course it gets burnt in an open fire as a sacrifice to the gods of the night.  Yeah, I just made that up.

Look at that tinsel burn!

The ritual would not be complete without the Winter Solstice S'more.  (Yup, just made that up as well.)

Or snuggling with Grandma....

The party continued on Christmas Eve.  But with an attempt at a more serious tone.  Notice the word "attempt".

Of course where a baby resides-girls will congregate.  Here Brycie, Mimi, Sydney and Lauren ooh and ahh over Matt and Gina's three month old son, Nolan.

And then the pageant begins.  Levi/Joseph and Lauren/Mary await Jesus/Nolan.

Lauren/Mary was not quite used to a "real-live" baby.  He got a quick trip straight into the manger.

Then came the angels....

Who looked a lot like the wise "men"...

And then the credits rolled...

Sydney:  costume director

Cade: narrator

Mimi, Brycie, Levi, Lauren and Nolan:  Characters

(and I mean that in the truest form of the word...)

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

5:12 a.m.

I had gone to bed late.  Ryan and Cade (along with Quinn and Levi) were traveling back from Las Vegas across treacherous roads.  I knew I wouldn't sleep well unless I was completely exhausted.  So I wrapped presents, cleaned the kitchen, folded clothes and read a book.  I prayed the whole time that they would be sensible, that if they needed to, they would find a hotel, or at least just drive slowly.

When I finally fell asleep, it was a deep, deep sleep.  No tossing and turning or checking the clock.  Until 5:12 a.m.  Suddenly I bolted upright-from slumber to complete awareness.  My heart was beating so hard it hurt. The boys weren't home!  My mind flashed to everything that could have gone wrong.  I laid back down, praying that they were OK.  I was just about to reach for my cell phone when I heard a car pull into the drive. Checking the clock, I noticed that less than two minutes had passed since I had woken up so frightened.  I flew downstairs, threw open the door and welcomed two very tired travelers.


So why? Why in the world did I wake up less than two minutes before they got home?  Mere coincidence doesn't fit my notion of a good story.  Initially, I was afraid that it was a premonition of something bad, but when I woke up they were just driving home from Quinn's house.  My romantic side wants to say that it's because Ryan and I are so in tune with one another.  In the end, I think it was one of those tender mercies that allowed me to sleep peacefully, but still gave them a warm welcome home.  (That looked a lot like me running through the snow without shoes or a coat....)

Letter to Grandma

Ryan's Grandma Ashton just passed away.  She was such a neat lady.  In many ways, she reminded me of my own grandma.  She was a fabulous cook, and played gin rummy like a champ.  I spent many summer days playing cards with my grandma so it always made me smile when she taught each great-grandchild how to play rummy.  All of my kids have a special crocheted afghan that she made for them at their baptism.  Like I said, she was a neat lady.

A few days before she passed away, Lauren (my letter-writer) wrote her a card.  Although she never got to send it, I thought it was so sweet that I have to share it.

Dear Great-Grandma,

I hope you are ready for what's going to happen.  I was so sad.  But then I realized that you want to be with your husband.  I hope your smiling while you read this letter, and that you'll have a good happiness in your heart.  I love you so much I want to give you a hug before you're gone.  You are one of the greatest great-grandma's in the world!  It's been a great time with you!  I'm glad that you're happy about what's going to happen.

Love,
Lauren (Lou-Lou)

If You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em!

I'll be honest, our Primary has not been very reverent lately. But when a kid gets up and prays "that all the people with the swine flu will get better", I can not help but laugh out loud. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, it was just a little snort of laughter.

But still, I should work on being a better example....

I've been working on keeping my eyes closed during the prayer, but you know that's when all the exciting things happen.  Still, I better keep working on it.

Baby steps...

Here it is almost Christmas

And I'm just barely posting about Thanksgiving.  With that in mind, don't expect Christmas pictures until February....maybe March.

We did have it.  Thanksgiving that is.  In fact, we decided to celebrate with just our little five person family.  My parents were in Alaska, and we couldn't bear the thought of another traveling weekend to the Valley, so we stayed home. 

Lauren was so excited.  She kept telling me, "Mom, I'm so proud of you.  This is your first time to cook Thanksgiving all by yourself."  She's pretty close, but I still think she should give me a little credit.  Actually, I sat down the family and told them that there was no way I would be willing to cook a big meal all by myself for a bunch of heathens that were going to finish the meal in ten minutes. 

So, my rules were simple:  Everyone is in charge of some dish AND you must sit at the table for at least twenty minutes before I excuse you.

Ryan was in charge of the turkey, Cade made mashed potatoes and gravy, Syd handled the salad, and Lauren was my right-hand girl.  We even pulled out the china, silver and crystal for the big event.  (I also remembered why I don't do that much.  Everything has to be hand washed!)

Notice Cade giving us a thumbs up for the effort.  Oh, the joy of teen age sarcasm.  Maybe next year it will make my list of "Things I'm Thankful For".  Then again, maybe not.  But I'll tell you one thing that is always there- this wonderful little family of mine!

Thanksgiving

Ryan asked me what I was grateful for this Thanksgiving. A million things zipped through my mind; my home, my job, 5 days off, beautiful weather, wonderful extended family, good friends....

But in the end, it all comes down to Ryan and these three hooligans.  And as Cade said in family prayer the other day, "Thank you for our family and how tight we are."

I couldn't have said it better myself.

When It's Over

Football had to end sometime.  Unfortunately it ended with a 26-24 loss to Valley Christain.  Cade and his teammates gave it everything they had, but it just didn't work out this time.  Ryan always says that "the sun will come up in the morning," but Lauren countered that "what if it rains."  Well, the sky is bright and clear, but it's still a little dreary around here.

I only had my cell phone to take a picture, but I wanted to capture the look of a "warrior". These past few games, Cade has played like a man possessed.  He's been banged up and bruised, but not broken.  I can't tell you how many times I was near tears, both with pride and with sorrow.  He and his friends never gave up, never got down and always came fighting back.  After the pain subsides, they will be able to draw from those lessons of loyalty, preparation, determination and perseverance.  And in the end, that's what makes champions.

3rd Grade Vocabulary

Lately I've been moaning about the sheer amount of time it takes to have two kids in high school.  (Feel free to laugh at me if you've already experienced this).  I had forgotten what it was like to have a freshman.  I feel like most of my spare time is spent running Syd around to practices, games, activities, etc.  When Cade was a freshman, Ryan coached his football and baseball team, so he was in charge of that "running around" experience.  No such luck with Syd.  It's on me.  Cade helps a little.   He gets her to school, as well as to and from lunch.  But after that, he's got his own job and practices. I haven't even begun to mention the additional games and trips that have been added to our schedule. Anyway, that's the background story....

This week one of Lauren's vocabulary words is "attend".  Each night, she recites the definition to me in preparation for her test on Friday.  Each night she makes one small mistake...

"Attend:  to be pleasant at an activity or event".

Whooohoooo!  That just cracks me up.  Monday through Wednesday I thought, "You need to work on being pleasant at those events Lauren".  But tonight I realized it's probably me who needs the reminder.  So today I'm vowing to be "pleasant" about all of the activities and events I attend.

*Disclaimer:  I really and truly do enjoy watching my kids in all the things that they do.  But WOW!  I really had forgotten what it is like to have a high school age kid who can't drive yet.

Never Say Never

I may not have said it out loud, but after McFly died, I thought we'd hold off on getting another dog. You know, let the grass and the flowers grow back, that sort of thing. 

It wasn't two weeks later that I started moping about, thinking, "I sure wish I had a dog to love on".  It seems that Ryan was having the same thought because last weekend we loaded up in the car, drove to Phoenix and came home with seven pounds of Bulldog lovin'. 

I've never owned a bulldog before, as my family always leaned towards Labs.  Let me say it, I am in love.  This little dog is the sweetest, funnest, easiest dog I've ever owned.  I know, I know, we've only owned her a week, but every day we love her a little more.  Seriously, we all spend at least an hour each night laughing and playing with her.  Even Ryan is infatuated with her.  We've named her "Tank".  Not exactly a feminine name, but surely a step up from "McFly".  The girls and I have deemed her "Tankini" so that she can at least feel a little girly.

Yeah, I'm not really seeing the girly look either. 

But the love...is flowing all over.....

Missing in Action

I feel like I've given up blogging.  Even the little voice in my head has stopped the running commentary of  "things to blog about". 

I've just been so sick lately.  I hate to say the words "swine flu", because I really try not to whine or exaggerate.  (I had to laugh typing that, because yes, I do whine and I do exaggerate). But I have never been wiped out by the flu like this one. In fact, after fifteen years of working I've never had to call in sick.  Until this past week.  Whatever it is, I'm having a rough time thinking, let alone cleaning, cooking, working etc.  Unfortunately, blogging is on the bottom of my list at this point.

But, today is the first day in a long time that I've gotten up without some sort of ailment.  I'm thinking maybe I should just get back in bed to preserve the feeling.  But then again maybe I've turned the corner.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Homecoming 2009

Cade's senior year of high school.  A year of celebrations, but also a year of "last times".  His last Homecoming parade, last bonfire, last Homecoming football game, last dance.... 

 He spent these "last days" in a walking cast, watching from the sidelines.

What memories!

The Sky is Bluer, the Sun is Brighter

Now brace yourselves, because this is  a pitiful, over-the-top comment....

I can't even begin to describe the weight that was lifted yesterday when we finished the Primary Program.  I know that I make things bigger than they really are, but I must have out done myself with anxiety over it.  I'm not kidding when I tell you that I looked at the sky after church and the sky was bluer and the sun was brighter.

When will I ever learn to just let it be?  To let go?  To enjoy the journey?  Time after time it all turns out. 

By the way, the program, the kids and the music were great.  It wasn't going to be any other way.  And I knew that when we began.  My heart knows it.  I've just got to get my head to follow.

Sweet Dates

Cade is so stinkin' lucky that he has a mom (and sisters) that get into these creative dating ideas.  I've been dying to do this one for a year.

Where were these when I was in High School?

 Oh yeah, it was pre-Internet days. How did we ever survive?

The Happiest Place on Earth

Lauren and I are headed to Disneyland tomorrow.  My mom and my nephew, Hayes are joining us on our adventure.  I've been saving my money for three years, and waiting (for three years) for Lauren to actually grow tall enough to go on the rides.  I Love, Love, Love Disneyland.  Watching Lauren and Hayes anxiously count down the days has been so much fun.

But holy cow, I didn't know if I would get through this past week!  Seriously, I just about called "uncle!"

It all started when we got back from Phoenix on last Sunday and realized that our dog was missing.  Lately I've been having the feeling that she was on her way out, but I was so sad that we may have missed our chance to say good bye.  Monday, Ryan talked to the dog catcher and found that yes, they had found a big black dog that had died just down the street from our house.  Poor, poor Lauren was just distraught.  Truth be told, we are all feeling a little hole in our lives.

Tuesday, I broke down and took Syd to the doctor.  She's been having trouble with lower leg.  Well, good mother that I am, I've been ignoring a high ankle sprain.

Wednesday and Thursday I was at war with my dear teen-age son.  (Don't even get me going-I'm still hot about it.)

Friday Cade got a high ankle sprain in his football game.  What's up with all these weak ankles?  Oh yeah, that's the Jackson in them.  Good mother that I am, I'm ignoring that one as well. 

Saturday, my mom called to tell me that my dad had gotten sick at work, passed out and was being transported to the hospital in an ambulance.  Now let me tell you, there's nothing like a REAL problem to put all of my little whiny ones in perspective.  I had to quickly repent of being a whiner.  Luckily, he was A-OK.  He just hadn't eaten and then had taken his medication.  Come to find out, that's not a good idea.  I told my mom it was probably because she has been starving him on their South Beach diet kick.  Not enough pizza and burgers to keep him steady.

But back to being whiny..So just a few minutes ago, my dear teen-age son called from the Valley to tell me that something is seriously wrong with his ankle.  The bottom of his foot is numb and sharp pains are shooting up his leg if it moves wrong.  I told him to come home.  He didn't like that idea, so I'm continuing my mantra of ignoring it.

So, you can see that I certainly am in the need for Mickey and Minnie, and even Goofy to take me to a happier place. 

Although, I'm kinda thinking that it may be safer to just stay in bed....

Oh No,Not the Camera!

Nobody shouts for joy when I pull out the camera.  OK, Lauren does, but she's eight and gunning for "America's Next Top Model". 

This time, I had ammunition.  Great-grandma Ashton is turning 92 and she needs pictures of all of us.  Who can deny a Grandma?  It took 2 weeks (really) until we had ONE evening all together while the sun was shining.  I'm afraid we don't have another one of those evenings until sometime in December....

AWOL

I have neglected my blog lately because my life looks like this:

Which in real life (not just the life on my calendar) looks like this:

And this:

And of course this:

And finally this:

If you think my blog has been neglected....well you should see my house.  Phew!  It's a mess.  Well, it was a mess.  But today after Syd's game I washed dishes, clothes, and the floor.  It seems I have turned the corner.  It's sad to admit, but life looks so much brighter with a clean house.

So here's to a clean house, happy children and more time for blogging!

"Rhino"

Sometime in the course of Ryan's life, he picked up the nickname, "Rhino".  I want to say it was started by Roger Shumway, but I could be lying.  And there are a lot of you out there that may know the truth.  But since Ryan isn't around to ask, we are just going with it....

For me, it started off as pure laziness.  Sydney has become "Syd", Lauren becomes "Lou" and Ryan became "Ry".  But that "O" sound fits perfectly...  It certainly doesn't qualify as a term of endearment in my book, but dang, it does flow off the tongue so nicely.  "Hey Rhino, pass the milk,"  "What are you up to Rhino?" "See ya Rhino!"  Well, maybe you have to be there.

Anyway...my story...

You may recall the autistic boy that I'm teaching this year.  We'll call him "J".  Ryan had the pleasure of meeting him last week.  He came right up to Ryan and said in his little robotic voice, "What's your last name Ry-an?"  (Ryan had on his workshirt with the nametag).  So they proceeded to have a short conversation on makes and models of various cars.  I thought that was the ended of it.

But the next day, during class, I hear "Rhino!  Rhino!" accompanied by maniacal laughter.  I think, "Huh, J. must be currently fascinated by rhinoceros."  For the next few days I would hear "Rhino!" burst out in random discussion.  Finally it all clicked for me.

"J, are you talking about the animal, or did I call my husband Rhino when he was here?"

Maniacal laughter.

"Rhino, Rhino!"  "Yes, Rhino, your husband!"

I have learned two lessons from this:
A:  Watch what you say, kids will pick it up.  Thank goodness I hadn't said, "Dammit Ryan, what the hell?"  Not that I would have said that ;-)
B:  "Rhino" doesn't sound so good 100 times a day.  I'm a little sick of it.  I wonder if Ryan would answer if I started calling him "Cupcake"?

You've Got to Have this Recipe!

When I was a kid, Alice Traver was the gourmet cook of the neighborhood.  One of my first culinary memories is the day she brought over homemade eclairs.  Overused pun-but it was love at first "bite".  Since then, eclairs, cream puffs, and Bavarian Cream filled doughnuts have been near and dear to my heart/stomach.  Back in the day, when I had a little more time, I occasionally whipped up a batch of my own.  But with the discovery of this recipe...well, I'm going to have to work on my self-control.

You can find the recipe right here http://ashtonrecipes.blogspot.com/2009/09/eclair-dessert.html

Spoon Me Baby!

I seriously hate it when I can see myself (and Ryan) in the Fair animals....

Blogging in my Head

Oh, I am so witty.

WIIITTTTYYYY I tell you. All day long, I compose smart, sassy and/or thought provoking stories to add to my blog. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me through the day.

Unfortunately, I forget them by the time I get home from work.

Sorry.

But, I'm not kidding, I'm pretty funny. Maybe even clever. Occasionally hilarious. In my head, at least.

Where Have I Been?

This year, one of the students I am teaching is a boy with autism. He is a happy-go-lucky kid who loves school and all of the teachers. Yesterday, he bounded into my classroom unexpectedly, shrugged his arms up in the air and exuberantly shouted, "Where have I been?"

Well, as a matter of fact, he had been at the occupational therapist's room, and was supposed to be in his English class, so I sent him across the hall. Later at lunch as I relayed the story to my colleagues we all had a warm-hearted laugh.

"Where have I been?" Truthfully, I can't get those words out of my mind. I don't know him well enough to understand the nuances of his language. What did he mean? Was he simply confusing words, or was he truly lost? Was it a game and I was supposed to guess where he had been? Was it his way of looking for direction? I don't know.

What I do know is that those words (or ones very similar) could have come from me at one time or another.

They've been said in remorse, as in "Where have I been" as a friend, relative or child needed me and I was oblivious to the situation.

They've been said in frustration as in "Where have I been" while I see habits of my children that I should have put a stop to a long time ago.

They've been said with melancholy as in "Where have I been" as I've watched those same children mature into the near-grown people they are now. (Once again, thanks to little Lauren for being considerably younger).

How many times have I wanted to yell, "Where have I been!" Haven't you missed me? Haven't you noticed me? Please, tell me I am important to you! (Yeah, I'm really not the grown-up, "together" girl you may have assumed me to be...)

They've been said with regret as in "Where have I been" when I've lost my way in life. When my priorities have been clouded, or my anxiety has blocked out the light.


BUT, they have also been said with pride, as in "LOOK Where I have been!" Every bump, every scrape, every fall and every triumph has guided me to the place where I am now.

And hopefully I can add to the phrase....

"Where have I been...

...and look where I'm going!"

First Day Pictures

I just love first day of school pictures. Part anticipation, part anxiety and part excitement. It's all seen from the choice of clothes, hairstyle and half-smiles.

Sydney is a freshman this year. Her comments, as always were fairly brief, and involved statements like "Mawwwm, it's just school," and "It was OK I guess." (After a while, she did warm up and claim that it was good--high praise from her....)

Cade, a senior, didn't have much to complain about because he only goes to school until lunch, and then works for Ryan in the afternoons. His highlight was that his new cleats came in.

When I woke Lauren up, I got the roll around in her bed maneuver, while she exclaimed,"Mom! Just five more minutes!" (The true teenager in the house.) Things went better from there and she claims that she likes being a 3rd grader. (They are the "seniors" of the elementary school.)

I wore high heels to school (not a good idea on the first day), but otherwise, it seems that my allergy to work is slowly lifting.

More Alaska

Oops!

I almost forgot one of the more important "chapters" of our trip. Fishing. While we were there, Ryan and Mark went salmon fishing, and then halibut fishing.

Salmon fishing is a lot more fickle than most people would believe. The fish come into the streams in runs. While you can make a pretty good guess about when those runs will be, it is still that, a guess...an estimate. And even when you guess right, there are a bunch of other people with the same idea. It even has a name, "Combat fishing". The fishermen line up along the shore, virtually shoulder to shoulder and have to coordinate their casts. The woman next to Ryan wasn't very "seasoned" and she spent most of the time yanking her lure back out of the water and into Ryan's chest. Oh well, as they say, "A bad day fishing is better than a good day working."


Later in the week, they headed down to Ninilchik for halibut fishing. Isn't this little town so quaint. Although you can't see it clearly from this small picture, there is a Russian Orthodox Church sitting on the hill.

Out in the ocean...before everyone decided that they weren't feeling so good.... This is why I don't go halibut fishing (once was enough, thank you).

Mount Redoubt.

Dry land! And lots of fish!